本当にセックスしないの?いまどき男子のリアルセックス事情 Are we really not having sex? Guys share real life sex tales


With the death rate overtaking the birth rate here in Japan, it’s about time we see if the kids really are alright. Following our report on the ladies is a talk we had with 3 guys from Generation Z on sex, love and how the youth are losing themselves in the digital age.

カズ / 20歳 / 学生

Kazu - 20 - Student


Student by day, staff at a high-end club by night. In high-school he was his club’s captain. Firm believer that “girlfriends are unnecessary.”

リョウ / 20歳 / 学生

Ryo - 20 - Student


University student living in Tokyo. A ladies’ man who brags that he’s never had a problem getting laid. Actress Maki Horikita is his ideal woman.

アオ / 19歳 / 学生

Ao - 19 - Student


Currently studying a foreign language. Into photography and fashion. His favorite Japanese celebrity is actress and model Nana Komatsu. Prefers mixed-race girls.

Q.初めてセックスしたのはいつ?When did you lose your virginities?





Kazu: “In my third year of middle school. I used to hang out in Shibuya with a friend 2 years older than me. It was with her. She had a boyfriend at the time. I was so fixated on losing my virginity that my social media handle was ‘Yarichin…. (Man whore….)’ I thought it’d attract horny girls (laughs). One day I was chatting with that girl on Skype and said “If you get with me I’ll make you so wet.” I’d never been with anyone, but I talked myself up. I put everything I learned from porno to the test when we did it in a karaoke booth after a night of drinking.”

Ryo: It was between middle and high school. She was 22. I met her via social media and we hooked up after drinking. Since I was underaged we were really afraid of getting busted so I chose a place far away from my house.

Ao: I was a sophomore in high school the first time. My girlfriend was younger than me and a prude, so it took 7 months to finally have sex with her. Looking back I’m amazed I was able to put up with the wait.”

All three wanted to lose their V card as soon as possible. Interestingly, social media played a big role in their getting laid. I guess it’s to be expected from the first generation raised entirely in the digital age.

Q.初めてのセックスはどうだった?How’d you feel afterwards?





Kazu: “Nothing much. I was like “So that’s what sex is….” You get to feel a warm body against you, but I still prefer jerking off. It gives me more control.”

Ryo: “I’d watched a lot of porn beforehand, so I was just really nervous.”

Ao: “We did it in my girlfriend’s bedroom, separated from her mom’s room by only a sliding door. It was so nerve racking that I think it put her off to sex. But I felt like I’d already waited long enough.”

The guys all reported bragging to their friends soon afterwards. Though we’d say that the ones who had an older woman take them by the hand and guide them through their first times got to play on easy mode.

Q.女性のどこに色気を感じる?What turns you on about women?





Kazu: “I’m a sucker for scents. Perfume or even the smell of shampoo.”

Ryo: “I like mischievous eyes, like (model) Nozomi Sasaki. Or girls who are mysterious when you talk to them… You know, almost airheads. Sleazy even. Those kind of girls don’t make me want to man up and take care of them, but they’re easier to deal with.”

Ao: “I like girls with a nice neck line. And girls with a talent or some skill.”

Just like the girls we talked to, these guys didn’t mention cliches like boobs or butts in regards to sex. We were surprised to hear that some would rather have airheads who aren’t a pain to hang out with. Everything is becoming simpler--including our love lives, apparently.

Q.セックスは好き?Do you enjoy sex?





Kazu: “Not really. I used to be obsessed with it, but masterbating to porn provides enough of a release and doesn’t cost anything. I still crave affection from time to time, but I settle for cuddling with my pet dog (laughs).”

Ryo: “I used to. I hooked up with over a hundred girls in a year before. But that wore me down and I had a panic attack thinking “What the hell am I doing with myself?” Sex has healing powers, though. If I’m sick I feel better afterwards.”

Ao: “I don’t hate it, but I prefer to only sleep with girls I’m dating.”

Their opinions ran from wanting to only have sex with a girlfriend to being disillusioned with or worn out by it. Modern sex seems to be another commodity. The more you have, the wider the hole in your heart opens up. Is this a sign that we’re losing our natural instincts to reproduce?

Q.オナニーはする?Do you masterbate?





Kazu: “7 days a week. It helps me to fall asleep. I can’t be bothered with tissues and just shoot it right into my futon. In the morning my mom comes in my room and thinks that the dog has peed on the sheets again and washes them for me.”

Ryo: “Almost never. Once a month? I zone out for a long time after I cum and lose my motivation. I don’t jerk off to avoid that.”

Ao: “I guess I do 3 times a week or so. Like when I don’t have any homework or whatever to occupy myself with. I love watching movies, and if there’s a sex scene I might pause it to rub one out before turning it back on. I still need to finish the movie after.”

The guy who said he doesn’t masterbate seems to be having too much sex to need to. For the others, it’s more of a routine rooted in basic instinct than anything else.

Q.オナニーとセックスの違いはなに?What’s the difference between masterbating and having sex?





Kazu: “Like I said, with sex you get to feel a warm body beside you. I haven’t done it in 3 or 4 months now. Girls are so annoying after you sleep with them. If it weren’t for that I’d be doing it more like 20 times a month.”

Ryo: “I like sex more. You get to watch the girl and think “Oh, look at that face she’s making now,” or “She was so modest a moment ago and now she’s going crazy!” That’s the fun part. It varies, but I usually get with up to 20 different girls a month, though honestly I’d rather just take the prettiest 5 girls from my stable and rotate between them.”

Ao: “For me the difference is in the emotional investment. You know, the feeling of liking someone else. Sex has that. I’m single at the moment, but if I had a girl I’d probably do it with her 2 or 3 times a week.”

Nobody ever said that the boys of Generation Z don’t have sex drives. It’s just that putting up with other people and their emotions can be too much for them. “Don’t go getting attached just because we hooked up once,” is a popular sentiment. So what happens if you cut out the emotional baggage?

Q.セックスフレンド(セフレ)はいる?Do you have any ‘friends with benefits?’





Kazu: “Not at the moment. In the past I had like 3. I even developed feelings for one once. Nowadays I try to avoid any emotional attachment.”

Ryo: “Most of my partners are one night stands. I don’t have a go to friend I sleep with. I’ve never dated a girl I’ve slept with, but I there’s the potential to become better friends after sleeping together.”

Ao: “I wouldn’t call her a sex buddy, but I used to get together with an ex and do it once in awhile. In general I only do it with girls I like, so I might accidentally fall for a girl if we had that kind of relationship.”

I guess dealing with people’s feelings isn’t the only thing keeping guys from getting it on. If that’s the case, what does Generation Z want from sex?

Q.ヤリマン(すぐにセックスができる女性)の特徴や見分け方はある?How can you tell if a girl is easy?





Kazu: “If a girl is into clubbing or has depression, there’s a high chance you can score. At a club you just talk to a girl who’s dancing, but her some drinks and you’re good. Depressed types are vulnerable, or mental if you will. They’re the easiest. Find a girl on social media saying she just broke up with her boyfriend or is feeling down, offer a shoulder to cry on and bam. You’re in.”

Ryo: “If I invite a girl out and she says yes, I know I’m good. I used to be the aggressor, but these days I let the girls come onto me more often than not.”

Ao: “Girls who live by themselves. For example a country girl who’s renting an apartment in Tokyo. There’s nothing stopping you from doing at her place all the time then.”

It’s sad to think that some guys view emotional distress as a sign of an easy lay. Especially when you think that their loneliness is being taken advantage of so that someone else can get a quick fix. In those cases, it’s not only the woman who is weak and disturbed. The men are like predators who weep as they devours their prey.

Q.ナンパはするの?Do you ever hit on girls on the street?





Kazu: “Only for a laugh.”

Ryo: “Yeah. My friends and I have this game where we see who can pick up an easy girl and take print club photos with her first. That’s about it. But I use social media as my main means to meet girls.”

Ao: “I’ve never hit on girls like that. If I go to a cafe, though, I’ll pay close attention to the girls there and if one I’m sitting by makes eye contact with me I’ll go over and chat her up.”

Pre-Internet, you had to meet someone face to face to pick them up. When the guys said that Twitter was a hookup app, we realized how differently the generations use social media. It makes approaching a girl at a cafe sound like an ancient ritual.

Q.処女とのセックスはどう思う?How do you feel about sex with virgins?





Kazu: “Count me out. It takes forever to get them to put out and it’s never any good.”

Ryo: “I don’t like sleeping with people who don’t have skills. Plus virgins tend not to take proper care of their pubes. They don’t even get why they should. I’m not cool with that.”

Ao: “It’s not my thing either. I don’t have any solid reason, I just avoid them.”

If the guys of Generation Z aren’t interested in virgins, where are the virgin girls supposed to turn to for their first time? In 2015 the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare released data stating that just 72.8% of unmarried women ages 19-20 were virgins. The number for women ages 20-24 was 46.5%. It would certainly seem that Gen Z guys are avoiding virgins when possible. This backs up our previous interview where girls said they prefer older men for their money and experience.

Q. “肉食女子”と“草食女子”ではどちらが良い?What do you think about “carnivorous women?”





Kazu: “Give me herbivores any day. I’m sick of aggressive girls. I once dated a woman 7 years older than me. Her appetite for sex was exhausting. They say a woman’s sex drive increases with age, you know. That’s gotta be the case. She’d hop right on top of me while I was sleeping and initiate sex.”

Ryo: “I like when aggressive women show their weak side.”

Ao: “I feel like a loser if I have to approach the girl, so I’m happy to have her take the initiative.”

The girls in our last interview mentioned this phenomenon. One said “I hear guys saying ‘I never initiate’ or ‘I’m not concerned with girls’ and realize that maybe they really don’t need a woman in their lives.” “I dismiss men like that. Maybe they are just trying to show that they aren’t pigs or something, but even that is so transparent. If you aren’t interested in women, fine, but I’m not interested in you,” stated another. The irony is that aggressive women tend not to be attracted to guys who are always sitting around waiting for a girl to make her move. Maybe omnivores are the best of both worlds. Whatever the case may be, there’s clearly a gross imbalance in the market.

Q.一晩で何回くらいセックスをするの?How many times will you usually climax?





Kazu: “2 to 4? I break it up into 15 minute intervals. Then there’s the ‘good morning sex’ and the ‘goodnight sex,’ too”

Ryo: “2 to 4 is a lot (laughs). For me it’s more like 1 or 2.”

Ao: “Once before bed and once in the morning sounds about right. So 1 or 2 for me too.”

For the most part this is what we expected. However, if you consider how they’re hungry for sex but adverse to relationships, they ought to up their numbers a bit. Perhaps the men of Generation Z do have a lower sex drive?

Q.避妊はしている?Do you use protection?





Kazu: “My first time was bareback. She didn’t have the best body, but I figured she’d do (laughs).”

Ryo: “If she asks me to wear a condom, I will. It depends on the girl. If she’s on the pill I usually won’t.”

Ao: “I always wear protection, but man, condoms are expensive.”

A box of 5 condoms runs about ¥1,000. If you use two or more per session, they’ll only last a couple of nights at best. If you’re doing it in a love hotel you need even more cash. That’s not chump change for a Gen Z student who’s also working part-time. You’ve also got to remember that birth control pills do nothing to prevent STDs. Put pleasure first long enough and you’re bound to get burned.

Q.日本の夫婦はセックスレス、といわれるが、理由はなぜだと思う?They say Japanese marriages are sexless. Why do you think that is?





Kazu: “Once your kids get bigger, you can’t let them catch you doing it. My parents were still having sex when I was young. I know because I found a vibrator in my mom’s room before. As a nation I think we’re kind of ashamed of sex. But sex isn’t the only way to share your feelings, right? You can also give presents or go on trips together.”

Ryo: “Yeah, that’s right. I think our culture treats sex as shameful. If I were to be in a sexless marriage, I’d like her to give me permission to sleep with other women. How else are you supposed to stay happy together for decades?”

Ao: “I think economic issues are also to blame. You’ve got a majority of adult males that are virgins, and more women entering the workforce. It takes money to raise a family, but the more you work for them the less you can actually see them. I want to move to another country and start a new life when I get married. Outside of Japan you can kiss in public and stuff.”

They all agree that having kids means that you can’t display affection in the form of kissing and sex anymore. In our interview with the girls, one mentioned “I think to keep the romance alive you have to vocalize it openly”. So even if things slow down in the bed it’s key to make sure that you still comfort your spouse with kind words. As the unwed members of Generation Z can tell you, sex without love doesn’t mean much anyhow.

Q.自分にとってセックスとはなに?What does sex mean to you?



カズ:「それってSNS(Sexual Networking Service)じゃん!(笑)」



Kazu: “I don’t feel any greater connection with sexual partners. They’re just people I have sex with.”

Ryo: “You know a lot about a person after you’ve had sex with them just once. I suppose it’s one form of communication.”

Kazu: “Ha! Talk about SNS (Sexual Networking Service)! (laughs)”

Ao: “To me it’s an emotional exchange. You can become closer through sex.”

For the men of Generation Z, sex and feelings are separate matters, though they’re not mutually exclusive. The problem is that life is so convenient now. You no longer have to put up with anything--including other people. Or your own passions for that matter. Times flies by this way, but deep down inside people yearn for affection. Ideally, affection with no strings attached. We can only hope that some day they’ll learn to stop and smell the flowers.


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